Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
