Just fell off a train. Bad.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
