he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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