Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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