I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
