ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
