There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
