The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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