I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize