he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
