How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
