Im at strip club and am horny
I can tuck mytits in my pants
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
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Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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