did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
