i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize