So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
