I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
