Jerry, you need to find god
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize