I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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