Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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