then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize