We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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