Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.

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(419): View more from Ohio

"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.

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(021): View more from

Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(707): View more from California

We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me

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(248): View more from Michigan

and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate

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(912): View more from Georgia

So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money

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