I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.