Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING