so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
