I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles