you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
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found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment