what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.