she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
