you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
