We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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