I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.