it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
