He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
