I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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