If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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