I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
