He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize