i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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