Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
