How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Someone signed my nipple.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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