Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
