She said her name was "party"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize