I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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