They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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