I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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