Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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