How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
