Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
