Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
nutella sex= disaster
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
being pregnant is like rehab
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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