If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
