It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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