please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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