You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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