so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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