Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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