i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
