giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
