doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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