Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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