Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You dont lie about slip and slides
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
