Who did Billy Mays play for?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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