I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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