It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
