so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
