what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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