i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
