i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
