...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
