i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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