somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
