Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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