I'm going to jail i love you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
