This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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